The Best Marriage Advice

Some of the best marriage advice I've ever received was from a historical novel. An older lady in the book said to a young bride, “A man may way want a lady on his arm, but he wants a tiger in his bed.” Well, tiger isn't the word she used, she actually used the word old word for prostitute.

I understand what she was saying, and have heard that verified many times over the years. A man, okay, let's be specific, our men may want a lady on their arms, and by their sides, and walking through life with them, but when it comes to bedroom activities, chances are, they want something other than a lady.

Let's look at some facts. A prostitute, by definition, is one who is in the business of pleasuring men. Yes, her services are for hire and what she does is wrong, but her business is one of the oldest in history. Why? Because there's a constant demand for it. So let's look at this profession. They pleasure men. They are in the business of sex. Those women study and practice what pleases men. They aren't shy about it, nor ashamed of it. They're good at what they do! Which is why their business is still booming even after thousands of years.

But yanno, they don't have to have a corner on the market! I think far too often we, as Christian women, give them that corner and then wonder why they look at us as if we're stupid. They know how to please a man. Is their knowledge wrong? Absolutely not. (Read Song of Solomon!) Their use of that knowledge is. And in our avoidance of sin, especially flagrant sexual sin, we've thrown the baby out with the bathwater. Boy, are we wrong!! As a result, we're ladies in the bedroom and often lean toward being prim and proper. Miss PnP (yanno, Miss Prim and Proper) is good for high-end restaurants, but not when your husband wants and needs a tiger on his hands. Okay, on more than just his hands, on him. ALL of him.

Siberian Tiger StalkingOriginally uploaded by Tut99 (Roger)

So, what are we to do? Make him suffer in silence? Condemn him (sometimes our silence or stiffness makes him feel condemned) for his feelings and needs? NO! We need to loosen ourselves up and be a tiger. For our husbands. But not just for them! For ourselves!

I know, I know. That's easier said than done sometimes, but it can be done! Without visiting porn sites, without lewdness and vulgarity. For some of us, it's more of a mental battle and process, and for others it's more of education and imagination, and for still others of us, it's both. And we'll be talking about those-- our mental preparation and educating ourselves, among other things. :-)

But let's get back to that old business. Those women who were so good at their profession studied and learned how to please a man. They studied sex. But we're not just studying sex! We're studying our husbands—their personal likes and dislikes. And we're studying ourselves—what makes us feel good? One thing prostitutes know well—when a man thinks he's pleasuring his woman well it makes him feel good. Real good! So what do they do? They act.

But we don't have to act! We just need to know (or find out) what makes us feel good and then capitalize on that knowledge. And we'll work on that—remember, this isn't a pot of instant mashed potatoes we're working on here.

Here's an assignment for you:
Think through what makes you feel good. Be specific!
What lights your fire and what things build the fire into a bonfire?
When you know these things, you can let your husband know—chances are he's a pyro at heart and will love (if he doesn't already) building your fire and setting off your fireworks.

And if there's not been a fire for you, let alone any fireworks, are there things that begin to feel good, things that are trying to spark? Pay close attention to anything that even begins to smoke a bit or heat up for you. Search your memory for smoke signals and warm spots. What brought them on?

Okay, ladies. There's your assignment. :-)
Have you been looking in that mirror Heidi stood us in front of? I sure have. It's a scary sight no matter how I look at it, but God is good, He can handle my mess!
Heidi will be back with us in a few days—she's been a little tied up, but she's not forgotten us.
Don't forget the polls we have going this week over there in the side bar and I'll see you Wednesday, I think.
Hugs!