CheeriOs...and More

Okay, ladies! Do you remember the hOmework from a few weeks agO in The Best Marriage Advice? In that pOst I just hinted at what we're gonna start talking about today...the big O.

Men, for the mOst part, have nO problem reaching orgasm, and sometimes their problem is taking off too soon. But yannO, as women, we really got the long end of the stick on this deal. *wink* When we orgasm, it can be for more than just the few short seconds the men get.

But what if you can't orgasm? Are you doomed to forever having an incomplete alphabet? NO, I dOn't think sO.

When you first started cooking, how did you do? Did your first dish turn out like a gourmet meal? I know mine sure didn't! In fact, I've been cooking for a couple of decades and I still dOn't turn out gourmet dishes, let alOne gourmet meals. It takes practice and experimentation to make gourmet. SO why do we hOpe and even expect to have big orgasms without similar practice and experimentation?

Just like we learn to cook gourmet, we can learn to orgasm. For some of us, who are not cooks and who do not like cooking (like me!), that isn't the best of news. But that doesn't mean that we can just pass this Over and settle for instant, tasteless frOzen dinners, nor is this something we can hand off to our husbands. We are responsible for our Own orgasms. Not our husbands. Sure, they are involved, and love it, but we can't just dump it in their laps and blame them if they dOn't get the O response we were hOping for.

There's oodles of things that can stop or hinder an orgasm, but rather than fOcus on them, let's move on to what we can do to encourage and find an orgasm.

One of thOse things is remembering that God gave us sex to enjoy, that sex is a gift. For some of us, that just plain gOes against everything in our experience and it's hard to move on from there. But we can do it. With God's help we can do it. And it IS with God's help as we deliberately remove our Old thinking and replace it with remembering God's gift to us. As we think on what is true, honorable and right, not to mention what was lovely, like we talked about in Tickle the Ivory, we embrace God's goodness.

Another thing to remember is the gOal--is it just having sex or is it making love? If it's making love then orgasm isn't necessary. Sure, it's nice, but it's not needed to reconnect in that deep way that loving does. Love is sO much more than just a momentary orgasm, and thinking that we need to orgasm is a good way to hinder one—which we dOn't want to do. We want to relax and allow the feelings and emOtions to flOw. All the feelings—physical and emOtional.

Remember our hOmework from a couple weeks agO? We were to pay attention and find out what lights our fire, or what makes us the tiniest bit warm, or even something that sends up a smOke signal. What did you learn? And even more—did you communicate to your husband what you learned (or already knew)? This is a really important point! If you knOw what heats you up, and you dOn't tell him, how is he gonna make the mOst of the information and situation? You'll bOth end up frustrated, which is not a the desired gOal. Communication during loving is a gift you can give each other, and one you really dOn't want to skimp on.

Be generous and loving with your communication and the gift will be multiplied Over time.

Just like we need to practice and experiment, we need to exercise! This one is actually easier than letting your hubby knOw what feels good, and you can do this anytime and anywhere. Even when you pull a box of Kellogg's out of the cabinet in the morning.

Girls, Kegels are better than Kellogg's! You can do them with three meals a day and never tire of them. What are Kegels? It's exercising your PC muscles—nO, not your personal computer muscles, your vagina muscles. ThOse are the muscles that stop and start the flOw of urine, sO they're easy to find and exercise. Contract the muscle, hold it for a few seconds and release. Do that 10 times to begin with, several times a day, and then you can increase the number from there. Why would you want to exercise that muscle? It not only allows you to squeeze your husband's penis tighter, but it helps you on your way to becoming more orgasmic.



SO, add some Snap, Crackle and Pop into your love life by doing Kegels with your Kellogg's and give that ivory a massage that'll make him want second helpings!