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The truth is that we all go through times of ups and downs. Many factors affect the ebb and flow of our sexuality, and our recent poll results show that some of us are experiencing the ebb and some of us are experiencing the flow! Here are the results of the 57 votes:
Which Best Describes Your Sex Life?Vroom Vroom! 6 votes (11%)Steady in High Gear 15 votes (26%)Middle of the Road 18 votes (32%)Put-Put 8 votes (14%)Stalled 10 votes (17%)
If you are in the "stalled" or "put-put" category, don't worry! We can still have great intimacy, even during seasons of ebbing. During these last few weeks of pregnancy, here are some things I'm learning about keeping things hot in the relationship...the good kind of hot.
1. There's more than one way to skin a cat. If the traditional way of skinning doesn't work well at the present... well like I said, there's more than one way. Nuff said.
2. Communicate your availability. It doesn't take long for our spouses to figure out when we aren't "in the mood." Letting my man know that I am "open for business" does wonders, even with all the baggage (read: belly) that goes with it. Making it a point to initiate and be responsive in spite of current conditions communicates that my man is a priority. It goes a long way, girlfriends!
3. Remember that connection is key. Believe it or not, men aren't just looking for sexual release. Of course that's pretty important, but their need for affirmation is just as important if not more so. By making it a point to connect in meaningful ways, we can affirm our spouses and meet their needs. Times of ebbing can be great opportunities for selflessness and springboards for greater connectedness.
4. This too shall pass. It is helpful for me to remember that this is just a season. It won't last forever. I also like to tell my man that the best is yet to come. I tell him that because I know it and I believe it. It's only going to get better. Seems for some reason he likes to hear that! :)
So...what other tips do you have for times of ebbing?
3 Zesters spoke up:
Super reminders, Heidi. And I have personally (recently hehe) found that letting him know is DEFINITELY effective. And there are SO many different ways to do that! :D
Yes, expressing interest is so important and taking the initiative is crucial! Also, flirt with your hubby:) Send him little text messages that let him know you love him!
My tip.....remember those romantic times when all was GOOD. And then using the imagination God gave you to think GOOD things about your man...and then let him know.;)
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