Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Just Do It- With or Without the Blue Pill

{Viagra is blue, right? Just clearing that up as I wouldn't know.}

The closest thing to Viagra we have in our home is a pill called "Spring Up." It really freaked me out when I first saw it in the bathroom. I thought John was going through mid-life crisis. As it turns out, "Spring Up" is an antihistamine. Whew.

Anyway...my friend emailed me a "Dear Abby" letter she found in her local paper a couple weeks ago. It reads:

"Sex is expensive. My wife and I are 74 years old and have been married 55 years. We still do it at least three times a week. Admittedly, I need a little help. The problem is, the price of Viagra has gone up a lot over the years, and the monthly cost is very high, even when splitting a pill. How soon is it likely to become generic in the United States?"

The response was that it could be available in the next couple years, blah blah blah.

What is interesting to me is the value this couple clearly places on sexual intimacy. This letter reminds me that each of us can make sex a priority, no matter how old (or feeble?) we are.

You remember my friend Jennifer, right? The one who set a goal for sexual intimacy 5 out of 7 nights a week? Well, I didn't include this in the original post, but she told me that doing the challenge "requires planning, like turning off the TV and going to bed earlier than we used to." (She told me I could share this, by the way!)

She went on to say that it also requires prayer on her part to desire her husband even when exhausted. "In the end," she said, "it's always well worth it!" There's another example of making sex a priority.

So girls, what practical things do you do to make sexual intimacy a priority? Pray, plan, pills? Share your tips on what works for you so we all can benefit!


9 Zesters spoke up:

Julia said...

Go to bed naked! Even when I think I'm way too exhausted something magical always seems to happen when I take off my PJ's before hopping under the sheets. ;)

N. said...

For me it's a simple fact of including him in my day, throughout the day, with e-mails, texts, phone calls, etc., then making him a priority right when he walks in the door (this is a big one for him.) We do "First 15" where we go in our bedroom for the first 15 minutes after he gets home .. no one allowed! We just lay on the bed and talk, cuddle, sometimes make out. It helps that he calls me when he's leaving work so I can get prepared. Then it's always important to get the kids to bed on time so that we have about an hour or so together before bedtime. All of these things have worked wonders! The key word for me is Priority.

Proverbs 27:19 said...

Prayer is what it takes. My body has responded to my husband in ways that have surprised me after I began praying about it.

smooches,
Larie

MOMSWEB said...

I agree with Julia; just go to bed naked. Amazing how this works!
If I pray, it's usually a selfish prayer..."Please, Lord, not tonight."

Elizabeth said...

I've so been enjoying Adding Zest! Thanks so much! :D Some of my friends are laughing at me (in a nice way) because I am so passionate about being a blessing to our husbands in this way!
I have found incredible differences in our love life since I've been showing my husband more of the respect he deserves, and since finding ways to show him and tell him I love him in ways he needs (other than in bed). Also we both read Every Man's Battle by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker. Awesome book! Written for guys - and so practical. My hubby has followed the keys given in that book and is now being so disciplined with his eyes and in his mind! He always wanted to be but now he knows how! In the book they talk about guys needing, say, 10 bowls of sexual gratification per day. The average they gave for most men was 5/5 - that guys were getting 5 bowls from their wives and 5 from elsewhere! I was almost shocked! I was most interested when hubby gave me the same ratio when I asked him. And we'd been married 6 years! Since applying the keys he now tells me he is getting 9.95 from me! Yay!
So anyway, the above have really helped, plus the fact that I'm continually looking for ways to make it better....it does keep getting better and better if you work at it, doesn't it?!
We are finding that we are desiring each other more and more! We laugh with each other over the frequency of our times together! Often it's only 1.5 days! Hee! It was great to read Jennifer's story and realize we are not crazy! ;D I believe I am becoming more and more my hubby's Engedi. Wow. An amazing privilege!
P.S. Experimented with the hairdo thing...it worked! ;D

Beth in NC said...

Sex at 74?!?!? Wow, I'm amazed!

We definitely have to plan ahead so that our daughter goes to bed on time.

Anonymous said...

I have really had to repent in this area of my marriage. I was almost feeling too old for "all that stuff" at 48 years old. God convicted me of my sin, but with that conviction, He blessed me with a true gift of repentance, and with that, an overwhelming sense of desire for my precious husband. I have had the most fun planning our times together, shopping for sexy undies, perfume, etc. I have allowed myself to "let go" and fully enjoy our intimate times together. Just this week, my dh told me that I'm spoiling him, so I guess I'm on the right track!

I'm finding that thinking about our intimate times together throughout the day helps me keep sex a priority as well as taking the time to pay attention to grooming details like shaving (and yes, he liked the new hair do!), douching, makeup and perfume, etc. just for him.

I love this blog. It's really giving me some great ideas. Keep them coming!

P.S. I hope we're still sexually active at 104!

Patty Wysong said...

Priority says so much. When we make this a priority, our husbands feel like they're a priority in our lives. And that's a good feeling. :D

Smelling Coffee said...

These are all such great ideas! I just love this blog!!! :-)

Jennifer

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