Handwork

We'd like to welcome Shula to the Adding Zest writing team. Shula will be a regular with us, sharing secrets she's learned along the way. Because she will be sharing things that are even more on the graphic side than I do, she's writing under a pen name--for her own peace of mind and because her husband asked her to for his peace of mind.

And now, please help me welcome Shula to Adding Zest.

Hello ladies! I'm so happy to be with y'all here at Adding Zest! What a treat to be someplace where we're encouraged to love our husbands. I'm really looking forward to being here with y'all and talking about things that many of us have often wished we could talk about so we could learn how to be better lovers. God created us to be lovers, and the more I learn, the more in awe I am of how He made us and the incredible gift He's given us when He gave us sex. The gift of making love with our husbands.

Now, many women love doing handwork, and I've got to tell y'all, from what I've heard, men love it when they do. In fact, when handwork is done right it will curl a man's toes.

Remember that post Patty did, Tickle the Ivory? In there she mentioned that the original language of Song of Solomon 5:14 is really quite erotic. Shulamith lovingly talks about her husband's body—all of his body, even his penis. Instead of just “His arms are rods of gold set with chrysolite. His body is like polished ivory decorated with sapphires.” (NIV) she calls his penis a smooth and expensively ornamented tusk of ivory. And what are we to do with the ivory? Tickle it—touch it—play with it and do handwork with it!

There comes a time in every marriage when you're temporarily out of order. Times when you can't come together (intercourse) for one reason or another. But that doesn't mean that you're broken or out of service. You can still be intimate with your husband, you just have to be a little creative in your love making—and this is where the handwork comes in. Use your hands to pleasure your man. And I don't mean just fondling his ivory. I mean bringing him to completion (ejaculation) by using your hands.

This is another one of those things that takes some practice, but think of the fun you have as you practice! First, let's talk about our hands real quick. Dishwater and cleaning agents are killers on hands! A good lotion or cream is a marriage investment, girls, especially if you have crocodile skin and rough hands. Keep your hands just as soft as you possibly can. Another thing to keep in mind when you're planning on doing some handwork is your fingernails. Long nails might look great, but they can be scary when it comes to your man's ivory. However long they are, make sure they're filed smooth. No jagged edges.

Now we can get to the good stuff! How do you do handwork?

Get comfortable! A good way is for your man to sit in a comfortable chair—an easy chair, if you're fortunate enough to have one in your room or if you have the house to yourselves. Another way is for him to stretch out on the bed with you kneeling between his legs. You'll want to have your knees tucked up close to his butt or you'll have to reach forward, which could put a strain on your back. Sometimes it even works well to have his butt on your knees.

Lubricate! I saw some of the girls mentioned lube in the comments. You're going to need it, and lots of it so keep it handy. Put a generous amount on your hands and spread it around. (Some use K-Y Jelly, some use Astroglide—check what's available and experiment.)

Smile! Even if you're concentrating on your hands and what they're doing, smile and make sure you're letting him know with your face that you love him. You want to make sure that he understands that you're doing this out of love for him, and frowning (even if it's a frown of concentration) communicates the wrong things to him. So smile!

Knit! That's right, knit your fingers together—just lace them together loosely and sandwich his ivory penis between your hands so the sensitive underside is against your thumbs. Move your hands up and down so that your fingers bump and slide over the head (glans) of his penis, but don't squeeze too tightly. You'll want to get his input concerning how tight to hold him and the speed that he likes, and you'll also want to vary it at times. Sometimes you'll want to use the webbing between your thumb and hand to rub along the sensitive underside of his penis—the varied contour of your hands and fingers will create different sensations for him.

Remember, too much of the same thing tends to lose its effectiveness and even gets boring, so you'll want to change things up and try different hand positions. We'll talk about some other things to try next week. Until then, enjoy your handwork!