Keeping it Burning

I've invited several of my friends to write an article or two or four for Adding Zest to help me through these days without Heidi. I'm so thankful for their response to my plea for help--they are an answer to prayer! These ladies might not be strangers to any of you that also read Exemplify and if you haven't discovered Exemplify yet, let me assure you, you'll love it there. The women have a tremendous heart for God and they don't pull their punches. Many times I put on my steel toed shoes before going because they speak truth. Today I'd like to welcome Christy Klein to Adding Zest.

My husband and I have been married for nearly 13 years now, so as you can imagine, our fire needs a little stoking every now and then. I’ve employed many different tactics over the years to keep the flame alive between my hubby and I. Some of these tactics have definitely been more successful than others.

If you are on twitter at all then you’ve probably noticed the mass amounts of twitter bimbos that stalk the twitterverse. Truly, it’s sickening how many scantily clad avatars I block in a day. A few weeks ago a light came on in my head. I thought, “If I’m getting all these pornographic invites on twitter then so is my hubby!” So I did what any self-respecting Christian wife would do... I started obsessing over my husband’s followers list. Whenever I come across a twitter bimbo that is attempting to prey on my husband, I hack into his account and block her before he gets the chance to see. Some of you are probably thinking that I have stepped over a line here. But let me remind you that men are stimulated by sight. ALL men. Believing your husband is any different is just plain naive. There is nothing wrong with protecting your property and that is what your husband is, ladies, he belongs to you. I admit I am vicious when it comes to protecting my marriage. And why shouldn’t I be? Only my relationship with God should be valued above my relationship with my husband. 

Anyway, it might make you feel better to know that I confessed to my husband that I had been blocking on his behalf. And do you know what? He didn’t care one single bit (I knew he wouldn’t). In fact, he found it rather amusing! Oh, how I love that man!!

“Why am I telling you all of this?” you are probably wondering. Well, because it was precisely this series of events that inspired my current keeping-it-burning method. You see, I realized that it wasn’t enough for me to simply block the bimbos I find on twitter. This world is crawling with lustful women lurking in the shadows, watching and waiting for that under appreciated husband to happen by. So, I decided it was time to give those women some very heavy competition... 

I created a protected X-rated twitter account to mercilessly tease my darling husband with... Yes. I. Did! I tweet him details about sexy dreams I have (yes, sometimes I just make stuff up, but who’s gonna know?), if I’m thinking about him, or my plans for a steamy evening together. The point is, I make sure he knows that he is wanted, desired and loved... by me. And the results have been fabulous! I mean, he’s always wonderful, but the very first day I started this, I got an invitation for a weekend getaway for two! Not to mention the HUGE smile on his face when he came home from work that day... and just about everyday since.

A few important things to remember if you are going to do this:
1. Your updates ARE NOT protected until you go into the settings and make it so.

2. Though your updates will be private, your avatar will be available for public viewing, so keep it PG.

3. Nothing you send into cyber space is ever completely private & confidential. So tweet with that in mind!

By Christy Klein author of Falling Around All Apart Me
and home style columnist for Exemplify Online Magazine.