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The theme of my days recently has been “I'm late! I'm late, for a very important date! No time to say hello, goodbye, I'm late, I'm Late, I'm LATE!” and it's about driving me nuts! It's not just in my work or with my kids, it's every area of my life right now—including my marriage. I'm meeting myself coming and going and often don't know which end is up. And I bet you have a good idea of what I'm talking about and how I'm feeling!!
Many men have an amazing ability. They can be dog tired after a day of killing themselves at work, but just when things are settling down for you and you're drawing a deep breath to relax for a moment, they come to life. They get the look in their eye and suddenly you know that your day isn't over yet.
So what do many of us do? We pull out a pocket watch that's at least as big as the White Rabbit's and suddenly the Energizer Bunny takes up residence in the White Rabbit costume and we keep running frantically until you-know-who has fallen asleep. Then we finally slip into bed, even more exhausted, thankful we got off easy.
But did we?
Sure, we might have swept the floor and gotten two loads of laundry folded, that really needed to be folded, but do you think your man would have fished for socks in the dryer if it meant connecting with you for 30 minutes? Ask him! Give him the choice.
Say, “Sweetheart, do you want clean, folded socks in your dresser, or me in bed with you, naked?” What do you think he'll say? Oh! Is that why you don't ask? But stop and think about it. You're exhausted, and maybe overwhelmed with everything, but for the same amount of time you can feel connected and rejuvenated or you can feel out of sorts and like you've let down yet another person. And yes, I'm talking from experience here and I'm talking to myself here, too.
When we choose to fold laundry, we're missing out on an opportunity to love our husbands. But not just that! We're missing out on an opportunity for our husbands to love us and for them to come alongside us and hold us tight. That connection with them can help us weather the frantic storms that beat on us every day. And giving them the choice of having something done around the house that really does need to be done or time spent together clues them in to some of the things pulling on you. Our husbands often see things we don't, and that one question could not only connect the two of you, but it could help you put things in perspective and priority.
So tell me, which white wabbit are you.
And even better—which white wabbit are you gonna be?
7 Zesters spoke up:
Great post! I can totally relate to both rabbits. And, when I've made the right choice, I know the peace and joy of choosing to be with my husband instead of the laundry. It really is a blessing to both of us when I put him ahead of the housework. It just takes a change of mindset to think along those lines.
Thanks for encouraging us to think this way. I know that God is using your blog!!!
Blessings to you... Jennifer
GREAT post, just what I needed to hear - before I rush off to do something else! Thanks for the reminder that even those few minutes of time can be like balm to our busy souls (his as well as mine).
I was always better at digging for socks anyhow ;-)
Mmm... good one! Maybe instead of having the attitude of, "I have so much to do that I just don't have time for this right now!", I could have the attitude of, "Thank you, honey, for rescuing me from doing more housework tonight!!" Because you know what, that stuff will still be there tomorrow. And, it's not really that important anyway.
But my body does not respond as it should when I know that there are things left undone because I was "giving myself" to the kids all day. Therefore I'd rather not even insult my husband by "just doing it cause he wants to." Our husbands know when we are not emotionally involved.
No excuses, just whining, sorry.
smooches,
Larie
LoL--N. I love how you think! Loving with our husbands is a GREAT escape from housework! ;)
And Larie, I've so been in your spot, too! This is something I've been thinking about a lot lately because I know that those with little ones especially really struggle with just not getting into sex because they're run down and TIRED!!
Hugs for you ladies with little ones pulling at you. These days DO pass!
For me it is normally my hubby who says let's leave it - you need your sleep! I'm one of those 'crazy' women who doesn't give her hubby much of a chance to initiate cause I get in there first! The other day we had hinted at it but by the time night came I was tired. I remember making a choice to proceed because I'd 'made the commitment' already. Even though I was tired I chose to focus (getting better at that!) and to really enter into the moment and get lost in it. Result: Hubby was blessed and I was too and I was able to head off to sleep more relaxed and with sweet dreams! :D
Knowing my hubby and what he loves is very important. I know that in the evening he likes for me to sit with him and watch tv and then be with him in the early morning hours (like one or 2). And then sleep in late and snuggle until late in the am like 10 or 11. He'd rather I work later into the night and sleep in with him than get up and do in the morning. I don't know if that made sense or was even about what you were talking about, but that's what I was thinking about while I was reading. lol.
That, and I asked him, which he'd rather - snuggle with you or fold laundry. He said it depended on how far behind I was on the laundry. lol!
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