No More Headaches

Did you know? Research shows that men have a cycle too! Sure enough, they do...except theirs is every 72 hours versus 28 or so days.

That'd have to be the pitts.

Maybe some of you are already clued in to this 72-hour cycle stuff, but it was new material for me when I listened to a Focus on the Family broadcast this week. Today I'd like to share Juli Slattery's main points of the broadcast because I found it helpful (and because I have mommy-mush-brain still and can't come up with my own creative post :)).

Juli talked about four common "Headaches" (i.e. reasons why women don't have sex) in the marriage relationship.

1. Differences between men and women

While a woman can have a higher sex drive than her spouse (and this is the case 20% of the time), generally it is the man who desires sex more frequently. This is where the man's cycle comes in. Research shows that men seek a sexual outlet every 72 hours. After this time frame, sex begins dominating the man's thoughts.

As women, we will probably never understand why this is the case. We don't have to. We just need to accept it. Men are different from us and there is absolutely nothing wrong with them. Your man is not some sick freak. They didn't ask for a strong sex drive; they were created with it.

The aspirin for this headache? Accept your man the way he is!


2. Great Sexpectations

Great sex doesn't just happen. Hollywood makes it look like it should be a sultry heat-packed event from even before the clothes come off. Reality check: Great sex takes some work. And we need to have realistic expectations. Since when did Hollywood start telling us the truth anyway?

We have to make sex a priority and commit to working at it. As we do, we should avoid feeling disappointment about what we have and commit instead to making it better.

The aspirin for this headache? Make the commitment to be a good lover.

3. Too Tired

Sexual intimacy requires focus and energy, which we often don't have! Everyone wants a piece of us all day long and by the end of the day, we are "pieced" out. We need to prioritize saving energy for our husbands (I'd like to know how that works!).

Loving our husbands sexually when we are tired becomes an opportunity to show Christ's power in us by doing something we cannot do on our own. By inviting the Holy Spirit into this aspect of our lives we can experience His enablement when we are at our human limits.

The aspirin for this headache? Get out a calendar and schedule time to together. Ask God to give divine enablement when you are pieced out.

4. Loose Boundaries

A good marriage has special bonds. These are secret things between the man and woman with no company allowed. The marriage bed is one of those bonds, which means there should not be outside images brought into the sexual relationship.

Protect your marriage bed from the foolishness of the world. Instead, have a sacred place for just the two of you and guard it with all you have!

The aspirin for this headache? Get rid of pornography. Pray for a bond and for purity to be restored to your sexual relationship.

Juli is the author of the book "No More Headaches" (shown above) if you are interested in more.