Hidden Joy (GIVEAWAY)

When Wendy Blight encountered a masked man with a knife on the steps of her college dorm, she initially thought it was a joke.

But when the man forced her to enter her apartment and lock all the doors and windows, she realized this was no innocent game.

It was assault.

It was rape.

It was the day that changed her life forever.

Wendy Blight is here today to answer some questions and we will giveaway a copy of her book Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner. But first, I think it's important to share why we would have such a heavy topic here at Adding Zest.

The AZ team is committed to helping women "rebuild the ruins" of our sexuality. Be it as "simple" as mommy-exhaustion (did I really say that!?!) or as complex as abuse, we want to provide resources that keep our sex lives healthy and reflective of Christ's intimacy with His bride.

Unfortunately, research says that 1 in 6 (some reports say 1 in 3) of us will experience sexual abuse in our lifetimes. Many of you reading this are suffering the effects of this and I know you will be encouraged by the hope and healing Wendy shares in her book Hidden Joy



Wendy, thank you for being with us. There are so many questions we could ask and so much we can learn from your journey. We cannot cover everything so I do hope our readers will get your book. Let me start by asking what will we find in your book? Who is this book for?

Heidi, thank you for wanting to share my story. This book is for every person who questions why bad things happen to God's people. In this book I share how I lived for years in a prison of fear, loneliness, and unforgiveness as I struggled to recover from being raped by a masked man hiding in my apartment. I also share how God rescued me and freed me from that prison. Finally, I include a study guide in the back to help women apply what I teach to their own circumstances.

When painful things happen in our lives we frequently ask God “Why?” What insight did He give you as you wrestled through the hard questions?

For years I asked God why He allowed this in my life. I could not understand how a holy God could have allowed this to happen...how He could have sat on His throne in heaven, watched the evil perpetrated against me, and done nothing. But God did not leave me in that place. He promises in His Word that when we seek Him with all our hearts we will find Him. In His faithfulness, God began to open the eyes of my heart to read, study, and understand His Word. It was in Scripture that I came to understand that bad things will happen to God's people. But God has a plan and a purpose in them. When they happen, God calls us to turn to Him, surrender our pain and our questions, and allow Him to work His healing in our lives.

Wendy, we have many readers who have experienced hurtful situations regarding their sexuality. The scars and emotional wounds from this type of trauma are deep and don’t just go away. Where did healing begin for you?

Honestly, true healing did not come for nearly two decades. But the journey along the way was sweet as God slowly but surely answered my questions and healed the broken places in my heart. He continually revealed His Promises and taught me powerful Truths that transformed my life forever.

Can you identify specific lies Satan tries to use on those of us who may have been sexually violated? Any specific scriptures you recommend?

Satan first and foremost desires to keep us in our prisons of fear, despair, shame, and unforgiveness. He knows when we live in those places, we are useless to God and His Kingdom. He will use every weapon at his disposal to deceive us into thinking God neither loves nor cares about us. He shoots the fiery darts of shame, doubt, bitterness, self-loathing, guilt, unforgiveness, revenge, hate, depression, and so many other lies to hold us down. But they are all LIES.

Jesus tells us that Satan is a liar and the father of lies, that He seeks to steal, kill, and destroy all that is God's and all that is good. We must do as Scripture teaches...take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. Everytime a lie comes in, we must replace it with a Truth from God's Word. When we do that, over time, Satan becomes a defeated foe. In Chapter Eight in my book, I share specifically how taking God's Truths and praying them back to God frees us from strongholds in our lives. Many women have shared that it has been a powerful, life-changing chapter in their lives. You can read it on my blog, www.wendyblight.com.

How would you summarize our part in our healing? God is the healer. How do we come alongside Him and work with Him in that process?

Our part in healing is first to surrender our place of pain to God. For years I lived sitting on a mat of hopelessness and self-pity. The hard truth is, when we sit and soak in that place, we will never move toward healing. Without surrender and taking that first step off our mat, we will never heal. I share my story of stepping off my mat in a chapter in Hidden Joy.

Once we surrender to Him, we need to open His Word and listen for His voice. As we read, we pray...pray for God to speak personally into our circumstances. For example, if a woman struggles with fear, she should search the Scriptures and find every verse she can on fear. From there, she should write them down, meditate on them, learn them, and pray them. As she prays them, God's Holy Spirit takes His living and active Word and begins to do a mighty work in her life. God tells us that His Word is LIVING (relevant to our lives today), ACTIVE (capable of producing change in our lives), and SHARPER THAN A DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD (penetrating to our soul and spirit, joint and marrow). He tells us that His Word when poured out in our lives will NOT return void but will achieve what He desires and accomplish the purposes for which He sent it. These are powerful promises!!! When we open His Word and pray it over our lives, He will be faithful with it!!

Lastly, you say that rape is a crime of opportunity. Can you give us some basics tips we can pass on to our daughters, friends, etc to help minimize the risk?

The best advice I can give is for women to be AWARE.

-Lock your doors and windows at all times.

-Do not talk to strangers or allow strangers into your home for any reason.

-When at a bar or party, keep your drink in your hands at all times and never accept a drink from a stranger.

-Do not give away too much information when you are out with friends (ie., I am going home alone, I am closing business alone, We are staying at a condo up the road and no parents with us).

-When you leave your keys at a garage or with a valet, only leave your car key. Never leave your house key.

-Go with your instinct!! God gives us that "feeling" for a reason. If you sense danger, run!

-If you are ever sexually assaulted, no matter what your attacker tells you, call the police immediately. Protect the evidence at all costs therefore do not shower, eat, brush your teeth, chew gum, change your clothes. Go directly to the hospital. Write down everything you can remember about your attacker to help with police identification.

Thank you again, Wendy! You can find Wendy on the web here.

We have a copy of Wendy's book Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner: The Transforming Power of God's Storyto giveaway! Just leave a comment before midnight Friday, April 30. Winner will be announced over the weekend.