Tag, You're It!

Opposites attract. It's a law of nature that we learn in grade school. It's a law of nature that's often experienced first hand in our marriages. Talkative marries quiet. Extrovert marries introvert. Night owl marries morning person. Each combination comes with its own set of benefits and challenges. And that means in the intimacy department, too. You don't even have to be opposites there to run into the challenges that night owls and morning people have!

Ideally couples would both be ready for sex at the same time, become aroused at the same rate, and even be able to climax at the same time. But yanno, we just don't live in an ideal world. Not even close! All too often we're like those ships that pass in the night.

There is no rule or command that says “Thou shalt climax at the same time.” Wouldn't that be fun trying to explain to your kids when you talk about the Commandments? The Bible says we're not to deprive each other (1 Corinthians 7:5). So, what are we to do when one is a morning person and the other is a night owl? Or when one is fired and ready to go in the morning and the other takes all day to build up steam? Or when one takes a lot longer to arouse than the other?

It means we have to make adjustments and one way to do that is to play tag.

Yup. Tag. It's another one of those things we learned a loooong time ago— even before we learned about opposites attracting. There are times when reaching your climax just is not going to work and that's okay. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with you or that you have to give up feeling fulfilled. It means you need to plan some time together when you have a greater chance of feeling it. That means communicating that to your husband in a way he clearly understands— not chick chat. They just don't get that language. When the time comes, enjoy it! And if your man doesn't climax, it's okay! Of course, he might get to enjoy double duty. ;-)

The same is true if you're on opposite schedules. If one of you is primed and ready in the mornings and off at night and the other is just the opposite? Talk. Come up with some ideas or a plan so each of you has a chance to really enjoy— physically enjoy your intimate times together. Don't give up, or give in, or settle in to seldom enjoying sex. Be proactive and chase your man down and let him know why!

And when your bodies are not cooperating, for whatever reason (time of day, hormonal fluctuations, tiredness)? This is another perfect time to play tag. Focus on just one of you at a time. Let them be exclusively on the receiving end so they can build and enjoy and climax before switching places. Often it's better for the husband to be “it” first since once he climaxes his interest is considerably lower.

Tag is a great game, especially for those who are married to their opposites.
So go ahead! Play tag!