Don't I Count?

Recently, I've heard many of my friends, both online and in-real-life friends, talking about how stressed their husbands are. We're all in our 40s and early 50s and pressure seems to be building as if we were in pressure cookers. In a way, it's scary. I mean, how much can they take before they explode like an over-microwaved baked potato?

What was so neat, was to hear what each of those women were doing to help alleviate some of their husband's stress. One lady completely took over decorating the church youth room so her husband could focus on the summer youth activities and missions trip. Another, knowing her husband really wanted to eat more healthy, committed herself to fixing very healthy meals, even though it means much more work for her.

These women stepped up, grabbed on, and started pulling with their men. Without being asked.

This was something I really struggled with for a number of years. I remember thinking “Don't I count?” You see, I was so focused on me and all I had to do, that I couldn't see my husband and his struggle to stay afloat in all he's responsible for. This is something I see a lot, especially in young marriages.

It's something I still struggle with. I read those verses in Genesis about the woman being the man's helpmeet, and part of me jumps to my feet and hollers, “Hey! Don't I count?”

The answer is YES! Yes, I do count. But I've discovered that when I get my eyes off of me and my list of to-dos, and step up beside my husband and help him shoulder his load, my own load gets lighter. My load realigns itself so we're pulling together toward a common goal instead of being in a constant tug-of-war.

Do I still have my own things? Yup.
Am I swallowed up by him and his things? Not unless I let myself be and then it's usually because I'm focused on 'poor lil me'.

I still can't explain how it happens, but it does. As a woman and a wife, when I'm being what God created me to be: a helpmeet to my husband, I feel more fulfilled, more happy, and more confident in myself. When I quit tugging against him, and started pulling with him, our lives changed. For the better. MY life changed for the better. My attitude improved and joy returned. It helped me see things that I was doing that I shouldn't be, or didn't need to be, and helped me see other things that I really wanted to do, and gave me the confidence to go for those things.

Being the helpmeet God made me to be, freed me and enabled me to become the person I really feel I was supposed to be. A much, much better version of me than I thought of!

Yes, as wives we DO count! Pulling WITH our husbands gives us a much greater pulling power than we have on our own.

This same principle can be carried over into our sex lives. As we work together and pull together, our enjoyment increases and our “pulling power” is much greater. It also affects our attitudes toward our husbands, and our attitudes play a big and important role in our love lives.

Those women I told you about have ministries of their own, independent of their husbands, yet supported and encouraged by their husbands. By pulling together as a team, their circle of ministry is far greater than it would have been if they had played tug-of-war with their husbands.

Tug-of-war has a winner and a loser.
Team work and pulling together has two winners and no losers.