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What happens if you didn't? If you were in a rebellious time of your life and married a man that was obviouslay not God's will for you to marry? Or even if you married someone who is good, but not God's best for you? Do you quit the marriage? Opt for divorce so you can follow God's will?
Marriage is a covenant. In Bible times a covenant was a solemn binding agreement that, once made, was to be kept.This is what we've entered into when we married our husbands. A covenant that's to be kept. The terms of a covenant do not mention anything about deception, changes of heart or life, or if it's convenient or comfortable. Covenants are to be kept and marriage is a covenant, by God's design, not man's. (Please understand that I know there are situations when divorce IS the thing to do.)
So what are we to do if we've entered into a marriage covenant with the wrong person?
The other day I was studying the book of Joshua and came to chapter 9, where Joshua and the elders made a covenant with the Gibeonites, not realizing they were being lied to and that the Gibeonites lived in the land God had given Israel. They didn't stop to consult God, they just blazed ahead and made a decision that was based on deception. When the truth came out, the people were mad.
What was Israel to do? Break the covenant because it was based on a lie? Joshua and the elders knew that Gibeon's deception did not nullify the covenant. It was made as an oath (Joshua 9:15) and to break that oath would bring down God's wrath, which we see that Saul later did and it cost him seven of his sons. (2 Samuel 21:1-6)
Even though the covenant was made because Gibeon had deceived Israel, Joshua and the elders did not break their covenant “so that wrath will not be upon us for the oath which we swore to them.” (Joshua 9:20 NAS) Rather than attack the city and kill them all, they let the Gibeonites live but made them wood cutters and water haulers. What a life, but the Gibeonites were alive, unlike most of the other inhabitants of the land.
So there's Israel, in the Promised Land but in a covenant they weren't supposed to be in. That's something some of us can relate to! Married possibly to the wrong man.Thankfully, the story doesn't end there. God took the situation and used it for His glory and He even blessed Gibeon because of it. Because of the covenant, five kings joined forces and attacked Gibeon. God used that covenant to draw out Israel's enemies and then God fought for Israel. There was a great victory that day, and what a day it was! God killed more people with hailstones than Israel killed with their swords! That's also the day that Joshua prayed and asked for the sun to stand still so they could finish the fight, and God listened and held the sun still. God gave them the strength they needed to complete the job He had for them. (Joshua 10:6-14)
God took a bad situation—the covenant that wasn't supposed to be made—and used it to bring about glory to His Name and to accomplish His purpose. Israel kept their covenant and God fought for them.
God can take our bad situations, our covenant with the wrong man, and be glorified and show Himself strong through it. There are consequences for disobedience, but God's grace can not only forgive, but it brings blessings out of sins and failures. God will fight for us just as He did for Israel.
We were talking about this in Bible study the other day and one of the ladies told us about a woman she knew years ago. This woman had married the wrong man but she honored her covenant and lived in a marriage that never fulfilled her. Her husband was never saved and things were not good between them, but God blessed her and her family because she honored her marriage vows. Other areas of her life were fruitful and fulfilling and God worked through her and blessed the whole family because of her faithfulness.
Gibeon was blessed through their covenant with Israel! The Tabernacle resided in Gibeon for awhile (2 Chronicles 1:3), Solomon was in Gibeon when God appeared to him and gave him great wisdom (1 Kings 3:1-14), and some Gibeonites even helped Nehemiah rebuild Jerusalem's wall (Nehemiah 3:7). God's grace touched their lives and they were blessed greatly through their covenant with Israel.
Ladies, even if you're convinced you married the wrong person, don't use that as a reason to leave your husband and break the covenant you made. God can work through your bad situation, will fight for you, and will be glorified through it, just as He did for Israel in Joshua 9 and 10. Remember, God didn't promise it'd be easy! Israel still had to fight, and they fought hard and long that day, but God fought with them and He fought for them.Let God be glorified in your marriage whether you married the right person or not!
This is linked up for Ann's series on Holy Matrimony. I encourage you to check out her blog and be blessed by her and the others who are participating.
8 Zesters spoke up:
Absolutely outstanding! I am forever grateful to God that this is not my situation but I have known several women faced with this challenge and always wondered how to encourage them to hang in there.
This was beautifully stated and Divinely Inspired without a doubt.
God bless you! Thanks for sharing!
My personal conviction is that there is no 'wrong man', that maybe it isn't the man you want, or who others have, but God controls the covenant of marriage and I believe he personally places us each with our mate. Maybe it's a 'bad match' but this is for God's glory in the end, just as that woman who was with a man she didn't love can now give an amazing testimony of God's glory and grace in the life she is living.
Of course abuse becomes a different matter (not that God didn't choose that either, but you should do more than live with it if it's abuse, even the bible labels concequences for abusive men, harsher than our own laws even), but when it is simply two people that, by the worlds standards 'shouldn't be together', God still placed them together for whatever reason, and he knows best, so it's not our place to break that bond once made.
Even though my husband and I were not believers when we married, I believe that God redeemed our marriage for His glory when we were both saved.
i know a woman who married a man who pretended to show interest in the church, but once they were married he told her flat out he had just played along and hoped she would get over it, he was just plain not interested. It broke her heart; they staye together and for years she went to church alone most of the time. Twenty or so years later, he started showing an interest, decided to take preconfession classes, and will soon be professing his faith and becoming a full member.
The new testament tells women with unbelieving husbands to win thier husbands over to christ by showing love, respect, and showing in daily walk and talk what Christ's love & covenant mean. Sometimes it can take a long time, sometimes it will never happen, but sometimes women win thier husbands over to christ, even if it's in a 'late hour.' (I know one other example who was in the twilight of his life and fell terribly ill, and when the church stepped in and showed love and compassion in helping him and his wife out, he could finally see in thier walk and talk what 'it' was all about. he is living out the last of his days as a member of our church and praising the Lord for using his fatal illness to bring him to Christ)
Soooo true - and powerfully shared, Patty. (and with some facts on the Gibeonites I can use for you-know-what! LOL) Not in this position, but a wonderful reminder for ANY situation where we feel we made a choice against God.
amen! I've said this very same thing before! thanks for writing it down. :)
amy in peru
What an awesome article. Many should read this.
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