Multi-Tasking in Bed

Sex is Not the Time to Multi-Task.

If you are passionately frolicking in your bed, do not remind your husband that he has a doctor’s appointment on Thursday at six, even if it is a matter of life or death and you will forget all about it in a moment. It will sabotage your intimacy.

Trust me.

Knowing when to shut-up and control your thoughts is an act of will that sometimes requires more self-control than avoiding those calorie laden iced mocha's topped with whipped cream and drizzled with caramel. You may have read the book, Men are Like Waffles – Women are Like Spaghetti, but sometimes I think I’m more like a box of fusilli pasta. My thoughts don’t just intertwine, but they hide in the ruffled edges and surface at the most inopportune times.

Our children are falling prey to ADD, ADHD, and hyperactivity at rapid rates, but we women have made these disorders into an art. We cannot focus on folding a load of laundry without repairing a scraped knee, talking on the phone, and letting the dog outside – ALL AT THE SAME TIME. In our minds we have taken multi-tasking to new and dangerous levels. Unfortunately for our husbands, we bring those ‘mad skilz’ into the bedroom.

The Bible has much to say about our minds and what we choose to think about. In Philippians, Paul instructs us to keep our mind focused on things that are pure, honest, just, and lovely to name a few.(Philippians 4:8) He recognized that our mind is a battle ground. Although we cannot necessarily control what pops into our head, we can certainly choose to entertain the thoughts. Because our minds are powerfully amazing, sometimes funny, and often dangerous, we must yield them to the Spirit's control.

While our husbands are physically demonstrating their love for us, are we responsible if we remember the hurtful words they said to us over dinner? Or, that they prioritized work at the office and showed up late to our son’s baseball game? Or, maybe it’s that important date that you know if you don’t mention right now, you’ll forget?

I don’t think we can completely stop every random thought that pops into our minds, but we are certainly responsible for where we set our minds

Focusing solely on our husbands for a time is often tough work, especially when we must remember to take out tomorrow’s dinner to defrost and sign our children’s homework before we can shut our eyes in sleep; however, our husbands not only need and deserve our undivided attention, but they enjoy it.

Here are some hopefully helpful ways to train your mind to focus.
*If a random thought surfaces, don’t dwell on it. Instead willfully choose to refocus on the task at hand – enjoying your husband.

*If your mind wanders, shoot up those quick prayers. God intended for you to enjoy your marriage bed. He is there to strengthen, guide, and help if we ask.

*As much as possible, try and spend some down-time by yourself prior to you and your husband coming together. This will give your mind time to relax and allow all those random things you ‘forgot’ during the busy day to resurface. You can then jot those thoughts down and save them for another time.

*Spend some time, not only before bed, but throughout the day focusing solely on your man. Allow your imagination to wander only on him.

*Remember our mouth will speak what our mind thinks. Keep your mind on good things.

Our brains can be trained to focus, it just takes practice. Thankfully this is an exercise that doesn't require crunches!

So remember sex is not the time to multi-task, unless multi-tasking means using your entire body at the same time. ;-)

Did I just write that?