First Ticket Winner

We have our first ticket winner for the online marriage conference A Woman Inspired is hosting May 10-12. There's no travel involved, you attend by going to an online conference room via your computer. These conferences are fantastic!

And the good news is that even if you don't win a ticket, you can still attend! They've priced the conference tickets so reasonably that many on even tight budgets can afford it. (I'm telling you, I looooooove A Woman Inspired's ministry!) Tickets are $12.95 (US Dollars).

This week's winner is tgmagazine.
In the Contact Us tab above there's an email us button you can use to send us your name and email addy and we'll get it to the right place.

A Woman Inspired's
"One" Marriage online conference

Remember, all comments go into the ticket drawings. =)

Foiled Flashing

It's not too often I tell personal stories here at Zest, but this is one I've gotta tell ya! I was SO ready to bonk my husband! I mean, really!

Last Thursday morning—did you catch that? Thursday morning we were actually getting dressed around the same time so I kinda took my time while he watched. Well, whaddya know but the man started mouthing off about how I never flash him or anything anymore. THEN he started carrying on about how I should do a Zest post about flashing your husbands to add some zest to your marriages. (He doesn't read Zest...obviously!)

I could not believe it! 20 years of marriage and we think so much alike that he foiled my Flash 'em Friday plans. And he had the nerve to think it was hilarious! I love that man but sometimes I really want to bonk him. Surprising him is really difficult.

If I had kept my face straight I might've been able to pull it off, but then he would've thought I was only flashing him because he mentioned it...but I didn't keep a straight face. LoL--I didn't whack him with a pillow, either (or smother him with it) like I thought about doing. He's still alive, but the shock value changed to sharing a laugh together—which isn't bad, just not what I'd planned on. So, let's just say that I did NOT get the response I thought I might. (Back to the drawing board...)

Anyone else have foiled plans?

Score Points

Spring is in the air. *achoo*

I love it when the weather warms up, but how many of you hate the thought of your arms and legs suddenly making their appearance for all to see? I would raise my hand and say “I do, I do” but that would make my arms flap in the breeze, so I’ll spare you all.

Patty recently addressed the thought of looking at ourselves in a full length mirror…naked. : ^O I liked it when she reminded us that when we got married, “It wasn't just your body that he liked, that was simply in addition to all those other components that make you who you are. Your eyes, smile, laugh, personality—your inner person.”

If it weren’t for those “other components” I might still be single. BUT…and I mean a BIG BUT…we owe it to our husbands to be healthy and fit so they can “enjoy” us for years to come.

It’s time to break out the diet plans and exercise videos. Not only can we make our legs and arms more attractive to be seen by the general public, but we can enhance our sex life. With improved cardio you can build endurance for a longer sexual encounter. With regular exercise we become more flexible and strengthen our muscles so that we can experiment and hold ourselves in new positions better.

Here’s what healthcentral.com said after a research about vigorous exercise:
“Researchers started out studying the benefits of vigorous exercise, looking at an activity lasting 20 minutes or longer and making the exerciser sweaty or out of breath. Most of the men they questioned thought that sex fit this description just as well as soccer.”

On one particular diet plan when you exercise you earn activity points that can be used for an extra treat. No need to give up your love of chocolate or a latte, you just have to earn it.

Each square of a Dove dark chocolate bar is 1 point. A Grande iced nonfat flavored latte is about 4-5 points. Both of these treats are much sweeter when you earned those points via sexercise. *wink* Hmmm…soccer or sex? Which would you rather do to earn activity points for chocolate?

I guess it is time to prepare to ‘bare arms’…and legs…and whatever else we choose to ‘bare’ in the privacy of our homes.

Who’s ready to score some points?
~*~*~*~*~

Mari is a middle-aged woman who thrives on her husband’s love, mixed with generous portions of good chocolate and daily lattes. She serves beside her husband as they pastor a small church in the mountain community nestled among the Cascade foothills in Washington.

Married for 28 years, she has three adult children, two of which are married. With five grandchildren, ages three and under, Mari feels she taught her children the concept of loving their spouses quite well. Mari is enjoying this season of life as a grandmother and a new empty nester.

Mari began to pursue a long hidden desire to write and is seeking areas to develop this passion. If she can get her ADD, middle-aged, menopausal mind to focus once in awhile, she may actually accomplish something.

You can find Mari online at her blog.

Don't forget: Commenters will be thrown in the hat for the online marriage conference ticket giveaway! (unless they say not to enter them.)

"One Way" Manna

In her Bible study One in a Million: Journey to Your Promised Landauthor and speaker Priscilla Shirer points out that a dramatic change in diet accompanied the Israelite's exodus from Egypt. She writes, "The days of plentiful and varied diets were gone. God whittled the menu down to one dish."

As I read this several months ago, I thought of our sexuality and how God's way to sex is like "One way" manna: sexual satisfaction only within the confines of the marriage bed. This past week I pondered this again and sensed there is someone out there right now needing encouragement on their journey out of Egypt in the area of sex. Perhaps you are the one this is for.

Sexual addictions and illicit gratification outside of marriage provide...well, gratification. That is what makes it so powerful. When God leads us out of bondage from sexual addiction or misuse and calls us to freedom in Christ, He gives us one and only one option for sexual satisfaction. For someone accustomed to the spices of Egypt, this can be agonizing, especially when you are craving physical release.

If you are there right now, I want to say that you are walking a road many of us have traveled. You are not alone. There IS a promised land waiting for you and the journey to it will NOT last forever! Keep pressing on!

Perhaps it would be helpful to know a bit of why God would require this path for us and how He wants us to walk it out.

WHY: There are several reasons, one of which is that the wilderness is a time of de-tox. Although at times it feels like it's just gon' kill us, it actually won't. We are in fact starving the old addictions in order to dine on Jesus. Our bodies, minds, and "taste buds" are being re-programmed. Hard as it may seem, that is a good thing!

One of the most important lessons we learn in the wilderness between Egypt and the promised land is found in Deuteronomy 8:3:

"He humbled you and let you be hungry, and fed you with manna which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that He might make you understand that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by everything that proceeds out of the mouth of God."

There are times when our flesh craves satisfaction. This happens in numerous areas, not just sexually. It is at the point of "hunger" that we are driven to understand where true satisfaction comes from: the Word of God and Jesus as the Bread. God wants us to learn a new response when our hunger is triggered: SEEK JESUS!

This lesson is crucial to our enjoyment of the bounty that lies ahead of us, because we can become enslaved in our promised land as well! The Israelites forgot God and served foreign nations on the very land that God intended them to run free on.

When we understand that God is breaking all bonds and establishing us in Him so that we have sense enough never to become entangled again, we can avoid floundering in the wilderness.

HOW: So how can we best move forward if we are in between Egypt and our promised land? One word: daily. The Israelites were instructed to go out and gather their manna each morning (except for the Sabbath). In the Lord's prayer, Jesus taught us to pray, "Give us this day our daily bread."

We need not worry about how we are going to live the rest of our lives like this, or even how we will make it to the end of the week. Take it one day at a time. Focus on the provision He has given you today, right now. And give thanks for it. Soon, He will say it is time to cross over and take possession of those promises!

The wilderness can be a time when we become convinced we are done for. It can really be tough! But it truly will not kill us, just those things that have enslaved us for so long. Keep your head up and focus on the daily bread in your hands and in your heart.

Note: Thanks to Elaine who got Priscilla's study to me. I recommend the study to anyone who is traveling to their promised land in some area of life. You will find Priscilla to be a great exhort-er along the way.

An Online Marriage Conference!

It's Friday! Have you got a plan?
Did you get the response you thought you would?
(If you don't know what we're talking about, check out this post.)

Now, in the comments on the last post, I mentioned that you wouldn't want to miss this post and here's why...

We're speaking at A Woman Inspired's
"One" Marriage online conference

AND

we have 5 tickets to give away in 5 weeks!

A Woman Inspired's "one" Marriage Online Conference:

Many little girls dream about their Prince Charming sweeping them off their feet one day. And some girls don’t even think about marriage until Mr. Right literally walks across their path.

After the ring, the dress, the vows, and the honeymoon, REAL marriage begins. Life as ONE. ONE can look very different from one family to the next.

What do you see when you look at YOUR marriage?

* Are you in the honeymoon stage, celebrating your golden wedding anniversary, or do you fall somewhere in the middle?

* Did you marry your high school sweetheart, have a long stint at singlehood first, or have a blended family?

* Are you passionate and purposeful in your marriage?

Whether you are struggling as ONE or just want to keep your foundation strong, the “one” Marriage online conference has a line-up of speakers that are all experts in their own right. They have experiences and God centered, biblical messages to deliver to you so that you can have the marriage you have always hoped for. Join us for the “one” Marriage online conference and get the hope, healing, and Biblical motivation you desire to move forward and have the marriage God desires for you!

Prince Charming doesn’t exist. Real men have rough edges– and so do we! These edges can be fit together as ONE.

Doesn't that sound GREAT?!! We are so excited to be part of this online conference! For conference information on how to join us (it's for ladies only) visit A Woman Inspired.

So here's what we're gonna do:
Each week, for the next 5 weeks, we're going to collect the comments that come in from Friday 12 AM (Central time zone, USA --LoL) to the following Thursday 11:59 PM and draw 1 winner from those commenters. You can comment all you want, but only 1 comment on each post will be thrown in the hat. If there's 3 posts in a week, you can get 3 chances in. Make sense? We'll do this for the next 5 weeks, so be sure to check back and comment!

Spring is coming to Adding Zest too, and you're going to see all kinds of things blooming here. Don't miss it! Heidi and I are bouncing off the walls and scrambling like crazy to... Well, shoot. I can't say cuz Heidi's sworn me to secrecy. You'll just have to read the Hostess Note we have in the works. hehe. Or pester Heidi. ;-)

Until then, here's a super YouTube about A Woman Inspired. AWI is truly one of my favorite ministries online. I've attended one of their online conferences and had my socks blessed off, and I've listened to other conferences via their mp3s and I just cannot say enough about this ministry.

There you have it, ladies!
Heidi and I will be speaking at an online conference and all of you are invited to join us! Five of you will win FREE tickets!

And don't forget...
Today is Flash 'em Friday! Let us know how it went! Did you get the response you thought you would?

C'mon, girls! Leave us some comments so you can win a free ticket! =)

This Friday...

Friday is coming. It's coming quick. And this Friday is a special Friday. Do you know why? LoL --Of course you don't because we've never done this here at Zest before. This Friday is Flash 'em Friday. Yup. It is. And I'm giving you plenty of warning because I know some of you are on the other side of the International Date Line and I want you to be able to get in on this on your Friday. Besides, some of us may need a little extra planning time to make sure we can do this.

So what's Flash 'em Friday?
Exactly what it sounds like. Sometime on Friday you flash your husband in a totally unexpected way. I'm talking more than your bellybutton. I'm talking about flashing your husband some skin that will make him sit up notice...in more ways than one. Now girls, if you flash him after the kids are all down and asleep for the night or when you're changing for bed you won't get the response we're hoping for. You want to catch your man off-guard and give some shock value to your flashing. That means being sneaky, and careful--you don't want to give your kids an eyeful, just your hubs. You know what your man likes seeing bare, so I dare ya to bare it.

Keeping our love lives alive and playful is something that takes some thought and work—but like so many other things in life, the best things are not those that come easily. It's worth every bit of effort we put into our marriages, including the physical side of marriages.

Sometimes the best things are not the elaborate things. Little things can go a long way and flashing your husband just might be one of those little things.

So go for it!
I dare ya to bare it on Flash 'em Friday.

The Bare Truth of Bodies

When was the last time you looked in a full length mirror and groaned? Or do you simply avoid those evil things at all costs? From there you might plot ways to change your clothes without your husbands having to see all your imperfections and added weight or body changes. But you know what? That's not giving your husband enough credit. Chances are that he didn't marry you for your luscious body. Granted, he probably couldn't wait to get his hands on you, but he had more reasons to marry you than just your looks...even if you were a hot babe. It wasn't just your body that he liked, that was simply in addition to all those other components that make you who you are. Your eyes, smile, laugh, personality—your inner person.

So why do we think that our husbands only see our bodies now? Because it's a lie that is sugar coated and spoon fed to us every time we turn around—and as wives and mothers we do a lot of turning around.

When we feel like a lump of play-doh it's hard to feel attractive to our husbands, let alone feel sexy.

What are we to do we do when we feel like play-doh?
Forget society and focus on being pleasing to only one man: your husband. What does he like about you? Sure you can ask him, but chances are he drops hints without realizing it. Watch his responses to you at different times. What puts that sparkle in his eye that says he can't wait to get his hands on you? Is it your sense of humor or laughter? How about a look you give him? Or doing something special for him? Experiment and notice his reactions.

Take a look at what Andrew Greeley, author of Sexual Intimacy, says about sexy...
To be sexy is to be aware of your body as an instrument of playfulness and delight, to be able to communicate this awareness to your husband and give him the gift of your body for pleasure, delight, variety, and playfulness.

Did you catch that being sexy is not linked to how your body looks? Read that definition again if you need to—it's worth it! Sexiness is our attitude. And we can choose the attitude we have! Sure, that choice may be a knock-down-drag-out fight at times, but we are still the ones in control of it.

If you're in the midst of one of those all-out fights with your attitude, remember that you don't have to fight alone. We have an all-powerful God just waiting to fight for us. Run to Him, pour it all out before Him and ask Him to help you to have a sexy attitude. God can do that! He gave us sex as a gift to enjoy, and He knows how our minds need to be in order to enjoy it. Go to God and ask Him to give you a sexy attitude. It's a gift for both you and your husband.

When you have this attitude, you can be a sensuous lover to your husband—and that's the key: sensuous. Here's what Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus had to say about this in their great book Intimate Issues:
"It's better to be sensuous than to have a perfect “10” body. Delighting your husband with your breasts and giving him ecstasy (Proverbs 5:19), swaying your hips seductively and displaying your body before him (Song of Solomon 6:13-7:9) will cause him to revel in the joy of your body. It it God's gift to him. Your body is for him!”

The truth is that it's not how we look, it's how we act and our attitude behind it. So go ahead and bare your body and let your inner person shine! Show your husband your love and use your body creatively and playfully to give you and your husband pleasure.

Free Consultation..But Act Quick!

I just received this information for anyone interested:


Free Informational Coaching Call


I hope you will join us...
Next Tuesday evening I'll host a Q & A Informational Session on how to restore a wounded marriage.

This is a wonderful opportunity to get answers to questions you may have about overcoming adultery or other forms of broken trust.

Topics covered can include an overview of sexual health, mutual respect, accountability, and how to reasonably protect your children from the stress in your home and/or
their youth culture, and anything else you need to know!

This session will be held on Tuesday, March 9, 2010 at 7:00 PM MST.

If you are interested in attending, please contact me (rob.jackson@ChristianCounsel.com) and I'll send you the numbers to access our teleconference.

Blessings,


Rob Jackson, MS, LPC
ChristianCounsel Clinics
ChristianCounsel Academy
Talk to Your Kids

Winner and Good Links

Hooray!
We have a winner for Sheila Wray Gregoire's book, Honey, I Don't Have a Headache Tonight! *drum roll*

CollegeSAHM

In the Contact Us tab there's an Email Us button--email me your snail-mail address and I'll get it to the right person. =] And a big thank you to our friend for donating the Sheila's book for the giveaway. =]

We also have a couple of good links to share with you!

6 Steps for Loving Your Man When There's Kids Hanging From Your Knees

Flirting 101

I'll see you next week! Until then, have a wonderful weekend!

What the Dentist Taught Me About Intimacy

My experience with dentists is far and wide.

I've been to dentists across the globe, from Thailand to Tampa, and suffice it to say that I've learned a thing or two. Oddly enough, the lessons I've learned as a result of having teeth are applicable to our sexuality as well.

Let me share the lessons and the laughs!

1. Some dentists will sense your trust in them and use it to make and then fill holes that were not there prior to your visit. Been there, done that. (And helped to make a few car payments on the Mercedes sitting out in the dentist's parking lot in the process.)

Likewise, a whole lot of people want to profit from our sexuality. I don't think this needs a whole lot of expounding. We are wise to recognize the harmful voices trying to capitalize on our sexuality.

2. Some dentists think they know what is in your best interest, say in having a hole filled, but upon drilling find they were mistaken. Been there, done that. This happened to me when a dentist in Thailand began drilling for a cavity only to say, "Oops, sorry! That wasn't a cavity."

Well it is now, thanks very much!

A whole lot of people are well intentioned in their attempts to help us in our sexuality, like that dentist. But when they get in there, they realize, "Oops, I just messed with something I had no business messing with."

3. If I find a dentist I know and trust, I'm sticking to that person like glue! And they better never retire!

I have a trusted dentist in the states who I know will not fill my teeth to pay off his student loans. Nor has he looked in a few mouths and thinks he knows it all. Through trustworthiness and experience, he has gained my loyalty.

When it comes to our sexuality, there are tricksters who are out to make a quick buck and move on; there are well-intentioned "oops" people; then there are those who point us to that which is trustworthy, reliable, and skillful.

God created sex and we can't get any better advice and instruction about our sexuality than from His word. Sadly, many Christians think of biblical sex as a list of do's and don'ts and stumble over this. It is so much more than that!

The reason why there are so many hedges around our sexuality in Scripture is because it is a sacred gift that is worthy of protection. This tells me that having a ho-hum sex life is living below the bar...AND that trying to fulfill the commands at face value are not going to get me above the bar.

Going to the trusted and skillful Creator for understanding into this thing called sexuality is where I will find the "treatment" I need. Furthermore, the best thing I can do for someone else is to point them to the Source. (I sure don't want to be an oops person!)

I hope soon to share more "treatment" from the Word. (These kids o' mine are keeping me pretty busy!) In the meantime, you can share too- dentist lessons or the other! :)