Part 2: The Rules of GOOD Sex

In my previous post we were reminded that MARRIAGE is the GOOD Sexual Situation. Once an individual finds themselves in that covenant relationship, they are then FREE to have and enjoy sex!

But what does that mean? Are we truly allowed, after the “I do”, to run and play and do whatever we want in the sexual arena? Well, not exactly. God has laid out a few rules to help ensure that we not only experience sex, but we experience GOOD Sex.

PART TWO:

“The Rules of GOOD Sex”

Just as the GOOD Sexual Situation is created when love is at the center, GOOD Sex is manifested when love is the focus.

Here are the rules as discovered in 1 Corinthians 13 (The "Love" Chapter) and Galatians 6 (The "Fruit" Chapter).  Please note the rules are scripture, but the applications given are only possible examples...good examples, but ultimately just my two cents.

12 RULES OF GOOD SEX:

1. Be PATIENT
Add new "experiences" only when your partner is ready.

2. Be KIND (literally "Be USEFUL")
Seek to maximize your partner’s experience.

3. Be CONTENT
Understand and accept you & your partner’s limits (especially the unchangeable ones).

4. Be HUMBLE
Give wholeheartedly and receive graciously.

5. Be APPROPRIATE
Never make your partner uncomfortable emotionally or spiritually.
Never let your sexual expression make others uncomfortable*.

*Note: The Bible condemns “Lasciviousness” (unrestrained, indecent, reckless behaviour) and “Rioting” (loud, disorderly conduct).  This does not mean that GOOD Sex cannot be free and loud.  It simply means that we must always be aware that others may be around…so tone it down, accordingly.

6. Be UNSELFISH
Make the pleasuring of your partner the priority.

7. Be UNEXASPERATING
Don’t frustrate your partner by withholding sex unduly (1Cor. 7:3-5)

8. Be GOOD
Abstain from the clearly forbidden (Multiple Partners, Adulterous and Abusive Role Playing etc.)

9. Be CONVINCED
Do only things that can be received with “faith” by each person (Rom 14:14, 22-23)*

*Note: In other words...if, for whatever reason, one person can't fully accept a proposed "experience" as being right in God's eyes that experience must be lovingly set aside.   

10. Be GENTLE
Strive for the physical comfort and safety of your partner.

11. Be SELF-CONTROLLED
Always be in control of the sexual experience.
Experience short sexual fasts to control the appetite (1Cor. 7:5)

12. Have FUN

That is all.

Notice that the actual activities which define the entire sexual experience (seduction/foreplay/various sexual acts etc.) are not actually discussed.

BE ASSURED OF THIS:

If you are MARRIED and stay within THE BOUNDARIES OF LOVE then you are free to HAVE and ENJOY SEX...WHENEVER , WHEREVER, HOWEVER and with WHATEVER you want!

I don't know about you...but that's pretty awesome!  Not easy...but awesome.  Yes, it would have been more convenient had God just listed a bunch of specific positions and activities with checks and x's beside each one, but he didn't.

When it comes to sexual "activities" shared between a husband and wife, there may not be a naughty and nice list but there is definitely one regarding our attitudes.   

God wants us to weigh every action (sexual or otherwise) in light of our relationship with our mate. He wants husbands and wives to communicate about sex and then allows them the freedom to create their own unique and personalized sex life - a sex life full of adventure, fun and passion but grounded fully in love and respect.

So BE NICE...then bring the SPICE!

Next Month:  Part III - “Naked, Wet & Sticky...and They Felt No Shame!"

Tearing down sexual taboos,
Timmy