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The Lord reminded me of the passage of Scripture that talks about the older women teaching the younger women. It's not something I see happen very often in our churches, especially when it comes to sex or intimacy. So I write to you today with a heart swayed by personal responsibility. God put me on this earth to do more than live for myself. I know He wants me to learn from Him, share what I learn, and allow others the opportunity to learn from my mistakes.
I recently had a
revelation. "We should have taken advantage of our time before children and had more sex." I told my husband."Now you think of this?" He replied still somewhat exasperated.
You see, he told me this OFTEN during our first few years of marriage. Unfortunately I was too concerned with keeping up images back then to lose myself in the freedom of marriage. I was worried about showing up late to Sunday School, or missing a family gathering, or heaven forbid, declining another invitation for a social event.
After all, what would people think?
I've come to my senses too late. It's not that I don't still have sexual freedom in my marriage, but now I have kids running around the house. I must be sneakier, more creative with my time. Now a night alone with my husband requires a sitter who likes to get paid.
I'm in a different season of my life now.
I like to think of newlyweds as being in the Spring season. There's no fruit of the trees yet (children), and you can flutter all around the house having fun, naked if you want! Just to complete the analogy, we'll call Fall the time when we're married with children. Winter can be empty nest, and summer can be menopause thanks to hot flashes.
No matter the season you're in, make the most of the time you have with your husband. You don't want to look back with regrets. It's a new year, make intimacy in your marriage a priority.
By the way, that photo is of my grandparents. I love it!
3 Zesters spoke up:
Yeah, unfortunately I think we did the same....... :(
Now, as our youngest is a junior in high school, we are just beginning to re-kindle that "freedom". Unfortunately, Father Time does have a toll. So not only are we trying to make up for lost time, I would TOTALLY encourage every couple to take FULL ADVANTAGE of their intimate time -whereever and whenever it "presents" itself.
This intimate time is critical to the long term success of a marriage. I wish someone had told me that so many years ago...
Remember ladies, you were a mate first and you'll still be his mate when the kids are toddler's, teenagers and off on their own.
Start building today for the empty nest years. Don't wait to light the candles, or to use the fancy china, or to where the hot lingerie. FLIRT, FLIRT, FLIRT!
(and then watch what happens :)
I agree! I was an infertility patient so I was obsessed with becoming a parent. Now that we have two kids and we're older, I do wish I would have taken advantage of being newlyweds. I so relate to worrying about appearances, I remember being frantic about being late or turning down an invite.
If you are on the newer side of marriage without children, have fun and lots of it!
Also, a great fiction book series on marriage in general and the seasons of it is out by Gary Chapman and Catherine Palmer. Although fiction it helped me see the seasons each marriage has.
Great post!!
Thank you, Tricia, for being brave, and offering up this important word of wisdom!
I'd like to add for all the Spring chickadees out there- try stuff now! By the time the kids are grown and out of the house, flexibility is not what it once was. Just sayin.
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