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“Uh, no.”
I pulled out a chair from my kitchen table and slumped down waiting for the bomb. Why my kid? I knew in my stomach, the place that flip-flops with a mother’s sixth sense, that my son ‘said’ something, not ‘did’ something.
A virus runs through the FringeFamily that is immune to anti-viral medication. It’s called diarrhea of the mouth.
I hope your children don’t catch it.
If you’re not familiar with the program, Awana is a children’s club. Kids memorize Bible verses, play games, and enjoy competitions with other clubs. Churches usually run the program and my kids have been attending for the better part of their childhood. Two hours without children is the best part of Awana. I hope my kids can attend until they are eighteen.
During assembly time, the leader asked the large group of children to tell him some Bible verses about love. It was the eve of the largest love campaign in America – Valentine’s Day.
I know the leader expected the children to say, “God is love.”
“For God so loved the world…”
“Love your neighbor…”
My son, the preacher’s kid, stood up. With Bible in hand, he read…
“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth:
for thy love is better than wine.”
Song of Solomon 1:2
Even my eleven year-old son recognizes that physical intimacy is the result of love. So don't shy away from affection, embrace it. Or, embrace him.
If you aren't an affectionate person by nature, here are few good ideas taken straight from our favorite sex author, Solomon.
- Kiss
- Touch
- Taste
- Speak pleasant words
- Full body contact
- Take hold
It's not hard to take the words of Song of Solomon and put them into action in our own lives. We can show affection in hundreds of little ways throughout the day.
Because I'm in a list mood and that doesn't happen often, I'm going to make it easy.
- Kiss - on the lips, but also other places
- Hold Hands
- Sit close
- Rub up against each other in passing
- Give compliments
- Put your arm around each other
- Make a phone call during the day just to say hi
- Write a note or send an email
- Gaze lovingly at your spouse
- Lend a hand, not just sexually, but to help with work or chores
- Listen when your spouse speaks to you
- Give a massage
- Touch often
They say anything you do repeatedly for two weeks becomes a habit. For the next two weeks show affection often and see if it becomes a habit in your marriage.
thedomesticfringe.wordpress.com
5 Zesters spoke up:
and so we engage in this with multiple persons?
we teach our children to do this with "Uncle Bob" (Male or female) and the neighbor's son and randomly and without distinction?
for a long time we've told or been told that women don't want sex... I wonder why that is?
and now we tell our daughters to be generous but do they receive generously?
Where is the balance?
Huh?
I think we're probably talking about two different things here.
This is a MARRIAGE BLOG and a MARRIAGE post. I'm only referring to affection within the bounds of marriage between a man and wife.
That's it.
Your comment refers to things on a completely different topic. Thanks for your comment though.
-FringeGirl
I may be wrong, but I think KOsment was referring to the child reading words of physical affection, maybe thinking that because he read the verse, he is being taught to follow it.
In my humble opinion, I believe that teaching children about healthy sexuality protects them (somewhat) from preditors. If they have the language, know the names of all of their parts, etc., know what is and is not OK, they can tell if someone takes advantage.
Teaching our children that sex is a wonderful gift from God between husband and wife helps them to realize their great worth, and select generous mates, and to be generous.
As for the post's overall message- kudos! I'm glad for the reminder! :)
Exactly. Everything on this site is within the bounds of MARRIAGE. One man, one woman. MARRIED.
NO, it is NOT right with others. and NO we do NOT endorse, promote or even accept it with or from others. Nor do we teach our children to. Sexual abuse is wrong. Any time. Every time.
I understand many have been victimized and need to work through that so bitterness doesn't rule their lives, but please understand THIS SITE is about the physical intimacy between a man and HIS wife. A woman and HER husband.
Yes, we are to give generously. Do we receive generously? To be honest, it depends on the husband. Some do and some don't. But are we to do to other as they do to us or as we want them to do to us? Are we to love only those that deserve our love? Do we ourselves deserve God's love? No. We don't.
So where's the balance? Sex outside of marriage is wrong. Period.
Balance is found in God. Balance is teaching our children that sex within marriage is good. Very good. Sex outside of marriage is wrong. Balance is not found in bitterness. It's in healing and God is the Great Physician.
We teach our children (and ourselves) that the Bible holds the answers--even about marriage and sex.
Yes the bible teachers us that sex is good and we should be ravished (biblical word for great sex found in proverbs 5) in love. Too often the church does more harm than good with kids teaching little girls and even older girls that sex is bad, dirty and wrong and don't do it. By the time a woman is ready to embrace her sexuality, she is often ruined for life. Too many christian women refuse to wear lacy and frilly lingerie for their husbands for example thinking that only slutty women wear such things and since she is not a slut she refuses to wear such garb.
Sex should be celebrated in marriage, especially christians.
Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder
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