The Nooner Revisited

Julie's note: I'm having all sorts of fun health issues so Zesty inspirations are not even close to being on my radar. I hate that for a lot of reasons, but one reason is because I love when I can come in here and encourage you. I've been praying on it and decided I'll re post some in case you missed any.

This is my first post ever to Zest and I was a guest. I still get remarks about this one. One thing I will say outright, that picture is NOT my husband.  It is a Flikr image that met the theme. :)

When it comes to marital sexual experience, I tend to be a bit on the naïve side. In 1976, my parents listened to the one local radio station that played the same summer hit each hour, Starland Vocal Band’s Afternoon Delight. The station played that song so often there are still summer days when I’m visiting my mom’s and relaxing on the porch, I’m certain I still hear the song. Thing is, it was only very recently when revelation hit. That song must have been about the “nooner”!

Flikr image

Although a secular term, I’m here to encourage Christian wives to enjoy this term now listed in the Urban Dictionary. A nooner is defined as “sex done at lunch, your lunch break, or around noon.” It’s a Christian marriage’s best kept secret. The topic doesn’t come up in conversation often, but when it does; both the husbands and wives wear a sly smile.

I’m task oriented so when I worked in an office setting, noon meant time to eat a sandwich and maybe take a walk. Once married, my husband’s office was across the street. Our home was five minutes away. I realized through experience that men enjoy a nooner. When I spoke with my girlfriends (after someone else brought up the topic) we discovered our hubbies really like this idea. We also confessed once we skipped lunch and went home for dessert, we enjoyed the nooner too.

Google has 348,000 hits for nooner, but not a lot of information on how it affects a marital relationship between spouses, especially Christian ones. From my marriage ministry experience I know men have one folder at a time mind set. When they have the sex folder out, it doesn’t matter the time. It’s the only folder on their mind. Husbands generally like spontaneity more than their beloved, so a nooner fits the bill. There isn’t a lot of time, it’s not planned, and it’s a bit risky.

For those that work outside the home, it’s risky because the lunch hour is pretty much that, an hour. Sixty minutes for drive time, the nooner, the redress and check hair time before returning to work. Once back at work, your face will yield a glow that will make people think you went to the spa for a facial.

I remember nooner opportunities as a stay at home mom. Not only was I task oriented, I was paranoid. Naps were times for me to dash around the house and get things done. If my husband convinced me to pursue some afternoon delight, he had to turn on the baby monitor and lock the doors. Women operate with accordion folder type thinking and my mind was exploring the ways this experience could go wrong.

Sound familiar? If so, I encourage you to let your guard down. As a new Christian, still single, a woman prayed over me in very specific ways. She even prayed that I would embrace the thought that it was ok to “be the devil in bed” as long as it was comfortable (and legal) for both of us. I assumed Christian marriages were puritan and flat. Allowing God to broaden my mind and trust my husband with something different proved to be fun, an afternoon delight if you will.

I dare you to give a nooner a try, even initiating an encounter.

It will be our secret that your glow didn’t come from the spa.

http://juliearduini.com

Surrendering the good, the bad, and---maybe one day---the chocolate

Read The Surrendered Scribe Blog Fiction Friday: No Idea

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The Blue Bird of Happiness Plan

…Another recipe for "slow-cooking wives" to warm up to our "microwave men."

Almost 19 years ago, we were given this little glass blue bird as a wedding gift.

The tag hanging around its neck said to put it in the window so it would bring joy and happiness in our home. It was a sweet gift, but we didn’t have a window that it would sit in. We didn’t really know what to do with it, so eventually; the blue bird of happiness nested itself in a corner of a guest room drawer.

Back then, I was a “shy" bride, and just couldn’t bring myself to initiate sex with my husband. I think I was afraid of rejection – as in “What if he doesn’t want to tonight?? Would it be because he’s not attracted to me… after all, that’s all men think about, isn’t it?” My mind whirled out of control with unfounded fear of rejection. I quickly concluded that it was safer to let my husband do the initiating.

Besides, people weren’t talking openly about sex in those days, and in my deep-southern culture, if “proper ladies” did initiate sex with their husbands, they surely didn’t kiss and tell!  However, somewhere deep down inside, I knew that my husband needed to know that I wanted intimacy with him just as much as he wanted it with me. Only, I didn’t have the confidence to approach him in that way.

One day, God gave me an idea… He reminded me of that little glass bluebird tucked away in a drawer. I pulled it out, prayed through God’s inspired plan, and presented it to James that night. From then on, the Bluebird of Happiness had a purpose I’m sure it’s creators never dreamed.

The plan worked well for this shy bride, and eventually the bird wasn’t so necessary. However, it still sits on the back corner my nightstand, as a reminder of the happiness we experienced as we learned to unselfishly love each other early in our married life. I smile every time I see it. (In fact, I pulled it out not too long ago!) ;-)

The Blue Bird of Happiness Plan is simple. It would work with ANY object. It can be used by both husband and wife. If you’re having a hard time initiating sex with your husband, this might work for you. OR, if you find that your husband doesn’t give you enough time to mentally “warm up” to intimacy with him, he might want to use the Blue Bird of Happiness Plan on you.

Simply agree on an object you will use. Then, when either of you would like to have sex that day, set the object out somewhere in the house where it will be visible to the other. Since both of you now know that sometime during that day you’ll be enjoying intimacy, your slow-cooking Crock Pot mind can catch up with your microwave man.  And... your microwave man can have something to look forward to all day long!

We made a fun game out of where to set the bluebird. If I set it out and my husband saw it, he’d move it to let me know he got the message. I’d do the same when he would set it out for me.  We'd try to find a more creative spot each time we set out the bird.

To this day, our children are still asking about that bird – why we have it hidden on the night stand, and why sometimes its out in the house… We just smile and say that it brings us joy and happiness. One day, for a wedding gift, we just might let them in on the secret, and give them a Blue Bird of Happiness of their own. :-)

From one "Slow-Cooker" to another~
Jennifer
http://www.smellingcoffee.com/
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Skeleton Plan

Have you ever planned a vacation, or a special occasion, or a night out, for a very long time? You rehearsed it over and over in your mind, until it seemed larger than life. Then, when you finally got to do it, were you disappointed? The reality of a really good thing usually can't compare with the fantasy of the perfect thing.

I do that all the time, even in the bedroom. When date night comes around, I'll sometimes play the whole scenario in my mind, only to be let down when it doesn't go exactly as I'd imagined. Reality just can't keep up. For one, I'm not as bendy in real life.

Anticipation is good. Slipping a sexy note into my husband's pocket, or whispering a zesty invitation into his ear, mentally prepares us both. Too much of a good thing, though, can spoil it. There's a knack to this anticipation stuff.

We don't always plan lovemaking, of course. But when we do plan a special evening, it goes better if I don't let my husband in on all the details in my imagination. It works for him if I leave a little mystery. It also works better for me, if I don't go over it too much in my own mind.

I think of it as a skeleton plan. I get the basics in mind. Sharing a few of those ideas with my husband is exciting, and gives shape to the evening, especially when he shares a few ideas with me, too. Then, when we discover the rest together as the evening progresses, well. . . no disappointments. ::wink::


Tamma