A recipe for Changing Our Men?!

Do you ever wish God would change your husband – his ways, actions, reactions, or his opinions? {Maybe a better question is: Is there anyone out there who has never wished that their husbands would change in some way? Grin. Of course all of us need to change in some way!}

As wives and home-managers, whose job descriptions require us to make daily evaluations of the home and family - and fix what is needed to be fixed, it’s really easy to see areas where our husbands need change. And it’s even easier to assume that we’re the ones who can bring it about. We have this persistent idea that if we plead or pout or nag or explain or “mention” in just the right way, we can bring a much-needed-lasting change to our husbands.

Fortunately for us (because who really wants that responsibility???), that will never work. Only God can bring lasting change to our men…Just as only God can bring lasting change to us.

If you’re in a situation with your husband where your hands are tied (not the bedroom-kind, haha), here’s a recipe that I promise will work. It’s not a quick and easy fix, but it is one that will bring peace to your heart as you wait for God to work in the life of your man.

Instead of trying to employ feminine wiles on your husbands, try this: P.R.A.Y.

I've employed this method for many years, and found it to bring great peace to both my heart and my mind.  As you're stirring up this recipe, just remember: God sees all, knows all, loves all, and works all things out - somehow - for His glory - which is also His best (good) in each life. God even uses those who aren't seeking Him to somehow accomplish His work in the lives of those who are. That's just how God works. And I find great comfort in that!

P - Pour out your heart to God. Tell Him all about it. Tattle-tale on your man to God, if you need to. Dump the details at His feet. (Of course, He already knows each detail, but it is for our benefit that He tells us to come to Him and pour out our hearts to Him.) Plus, this sometimes just plain feels good to tell on him! ;-)

Ask God to show you if you are bitter toward him in any way. Then, sweet friends, for your own good, pour out that bitterness. In  your heart, you know that bitterness is doing neither you nor your husband any good. Bitterness is a poison that can weigh you down and absolutely destroy you. It will do nothing to bring about lasting change in your husband. In fact, it just might push him further in the opposite direction. Pour it all out before the Lord.

R – Release your man to God. Picture him at the wounded feet of Jesus, who loves both of you so. You can trust God with your husband. God can do more than you could ever imagine to do in, through, about, and around your man and your situation. Release your husband it into God’s All-Capable hands.

A - Ask God to bless your man. This is a biggie. Especially if you are struggling with bitterness toward him about something or over how something or someone is handled. Our natural tendency is to pray that “God will get ‘em!” Asking God to bless an offending person or situation requires that our focus switch from "what I think is best" to "what God knows is best". It may require going back to the Pouring out and the Releasing stages several times to be able to honestly ask God to bless your husband. But it's worth it!

Y - Yield to the leading of the Holy Spirit in your own life. In other words... say Yes to obedience. Make sure that you are in right relationship with God, confessed up, and ready/willing to say "yes" to whatever it is that God asks you to do. This may bring on a fresh battle with pride in your own life - but with God's help, Humility (and you) can win!

Psalm 62 speaks beautifully about our roles in changing others:

"Only God can save me, and I calmly wait for him.

God alone is the mighty rock that keeps me safe

and the fortress where I am secure...

Only God gives inward peace, and I depend on him.

God alone is the mighty rock that keeps me safe,

and he is the fortress where I feel secure.

God saves me and honors me.

He is that mighty rock where I find safety.

Trust God, my friends, and always tell him each one of your concerns.

God is our place of safety.

We humans are only a breath; none of us are truly great.

All of us together weigh less than a puff of air.

Don't trust in violence or depend on dishonesty or rely on great wealth.

I heard God say two things:

"I am powerful,

and I am very kind."

The Lord rewards each of us according to what we do."

Psalm 62: 1-2, 5-12 (CEV)

Friends, I'm positive I'm not the first person to come up with an acrostic to the word "pray", but the Lord unfolded this to me about my own husband, and I'm praying that it will be a help to some of you, too~

(This method actually works with all circumstances we face, when we can do nothing to change the situations we, or our loved ones find ourselves facing.)

When your hands are tied: P.R.A.Y. and then watch for what God will do. He is powerful and He is very kind.

Much love to my "Slow Cooking" friends~
Jennifer

"Faith, Family, Food, Fun, Life, Love, and Living it all through Jesus Christ" ... and sharing it all on my blog: www.SmellingCoffee.com. Look for and “like” Smelling Coffee on Facebook.

Game Ideas for Zesty Married Couples

Lovemaking can be comforting, thrilling, healing, cleansing, and strengthening. It can also be downright fun! But when I tried looking up some zesty game ideas online. . . oh my! Even with a web filter in safe mode, some things came up that I did not want to see! For my fellow sisters in Christ who have playful hearts, I offer these game ideas that you can read without fear.

Guess What? Gather together household items with interesting and pleasant textures, smells, and tastes. Blindfold your husband with a sleep mask or bandana. With your husband resting comfortably (however much or little clothing he wears for this is up to you two), gently stroke him with one item at a time (wherever you touch is up to you—let him be surprised). See if he can guess the item. If the item is fragrant, be sure to pass it under his nose. If it tastes good, caress his lips with it, or give him a taste. Take turns. See who can guess the most items.

Flashlight Using a small flashlight in a totally dark room, point to one spot on your body. Your husband gets to kiss you in that one spot only. Point to another spot. Turn the flashlight on and off, bring it in close, or pull back for broader areas. Take turns controlling the light.

Slip-and-slide Tuck a shower curtain, or clean tarpaulin, over your mattress. Add a few squirts of baby oil. Strip down, and you're ready to go!

Draw Start with index cards (or you can use pieces of paper). Cut the cards in half, and separate into two stacks. On each card of the first stack, write an action. (Kiss, dance, etc.) Include a mixture of sweet, zesty, and silly actions. On each card of the second stack, write a body part. Any body part, not just the zesty ones. Mix up the cards in each stack, but keep the stacks separate. Husband and wife take turns drawing one card from each stack, then doing what the cards say, with the person's own interpretation. For example, Kiss / lips directs a kiss, but it could be gentle or passionate. Dance/nose can be quite silly.

Zesty Charades Start with a stack of index cards, cut in half (or use paper or card stock). On each card, write a zesty word or phrase. Include those special words that you only use with your spouse in the bedroom, along with words like position, and heat, that only sound zesty, because of the mood. Make as many zesty words and phrases as you can think of, shuffle the cards, and put them face down. Set a timer. You get two minutes to act out as many words as you can, without speaking. Then it's your husband's turn. Spice this up even more by adding a special zesty reward for the winner.

Secret word Blindfold your hubby with a sleep mask or bandana. Write a zesty one-word suggestion somewhere on his body with a tasty treat, like chocolate syrup, honey, or canned whipped cream (something with a nozzle for writing). Use sugar-free, if sugar is an issue. If he guesses the word, he gets a taste of the treat, and another word. If he misses, it's your turn.

Board games You can turn regular board games into zesty games by changing a few rules. Checkers: add a zesty treat for jumping, for capturing a checker and for crowning. Monopoly: collect zesty rewards for landing on property and passing go. Scrabble? Only zesty words allowed. Don't forget about good old-fashioned strip poker. And if you're still bendy enough: Naked Twister!

Puts a whole new spin on Game Night, doesn't it? ::wink:: Never lose the fun of lovemaking! If you have a zesty game idea, please share it. We Christians need a safe place to share and learn. Remember, you can remain anonymous, if you're shy.

Tamma