Adding Zest to your Nest

I once heard a little phrase that is easy to remem...

2011-09-27T07:37:13.593-05:00

I once heard a little phrase that is easy to remember in the times when I am frustrated:

Pray it on, don't lay it on!

It has helped me keep my mouth closed when the temptation was the opposite!

Odivia, That is awesome! I'm so glad you used ...

2011-09-01T14:14:18.646-05:00

Odivia, That is awesome! I'm so glad you used your experience to help prevent the suffering of others. Thank you for sharing.

Hi! I am also a survival from childhood seual abu...

2011-08-31T19:32:43.283-05:00

Hi!

I am also a survival from childhood seual abuse. As you said, to overcome it it is not one thing only. In my case, therapy, love... I suffered a lot because I would like to prevent itto happen to my 5 years-old child and I end up writing the first children book against child sexual abuse in my country, Brazil. It is called SEGREDO SEGREDISSIMO and it is recommended by educators to be used at schools with kids from 5 to 11 years-old. I would like you to know it by clicling in the link below http://labouchedumonde.blogspot.com/2011/04/livre-sur-la-pedophilie-destine-aux.html. The text is in French, most are in Portuguese if you search it in Google.

Cathie--I can understand that. God bless you. Lar...

2011-08-30T15:19:57.953-05:00

Cathie--I can understand that. God bless you.

Larie- You're blessed to have a patient husband. My Eddie has always been kind and understanding about this, too, thankfully. Good for our men, stepping up to the challenge! Let's you and me blow our hubbies a kiss.

I'm sorry to hear that you're still suffering effects. What an evil sin sexual abuse is, especially the abuse of children! It's so destructive. The enemy is out to destroy our families, and the foundation of the family is the marriage.

I pray for you and for all the Zesters out there still suffering from sexual trauma. May God heal you completely, and strengthen you and your home.

@tamma: thanks for the hug. I do really appreciate...

2011-08-29T21:54:02.067-05:00

@tamma: thanks for the hug. I do really appreciate it.

I'm still single right now and I have fear to tell to a man what I've been through. I am afraid that someone will not understand me.

Thank you Tamma. You have put how I feel into wor...

2011-08-29T20:47:08.059-05:00

Thank you Tamma. You have put how I feel into words that I have not been able to say. However, I've always known that some of my sexual inhibitants were a result of sexual abuse. I too would think that I couldn't ever say no, and then when I did say no I felt bad and wondered if I'd "Messed up."

I still suffer from nightmares, vivid daytime flashbacks, and some low self-esteem, but my husband is patient and expresses that he understands.

smooches,
Larie

(((Cathie))) That's a cyber-hug for you. I'...

2011-08-29T06:42:04.483-05:00

(((Cathie))) That's a cyber-hug for you. I'm so sorry you suffer from this, too. I have the same story--abused by relatives, and my parents didn't know until later.

Thank you for sharing your story with us. The more people who come forward with their stories, the more survivors will realize that this is not their shame. It is a shame to the abuser, not the victim.

May you and your husband patiently endure this season of healing in your life and may you find joy in the day-to-day of living.

Hi! I admire you for being so strong and you have ...

2011-08-29T01:41:00.325-05:00

Hi! I admire you for being so strong and you have overcome your childhood sexual abuse.

I'm still affected today and still struggling in overcoming my past hurt in my childhood days. I was also a victim of child molestation. My parents didn't know about it. My close relatives were my abusers and nobody in my family have some knowledge about it.

Once in a while, the shadow of the past still haunting me and the only consolation I have in mind is thinking that God loves me unconditionally.

Thanks God I have found your site. It helps me a lot.

Amen! I held such bitterness toward my Eddie for y...

2011-08-06T20:47:37.733-05:00

Amen! I held such bitterness toward my Eddie for years. Only when I started praying did things change.

I remember once blurting out without thinking, "He never was so great! He's always been this way! The only thing that was different when we got along was my attitude!" I laugh about it now, but I got angry with myself because I was confronted with my own bitterness!

Michelle~ So glad you have an awesome husband - an...

2011-07-29T20:52:59.425-05:00

Michelle~ So glad you have an awesome husband - and still know the value of "keeping him that way" through prayer. ;-)

Blessings to you~
Jennifer

What a great post of encouragement! My husband is...

2011-07-29T08:28:36.247-05:00

What a great post of encouragement! My husband is pretty darn close to perfect (ahem, to me!) but he still covets my prayers for him:)

By the way, mentioned you guys in a post on my blog too!

Michelle

Hi Heidi - I love your honest writing and have b...

2011-07-21T20:00:12.546-05:00

Hi Heidi -

I love your honest writing and have been trying to reach you to get an "OK" to repost your article "Cleansed, Washed and No Wrinkles" on my site, www.fancylittlethings.com. I write about marriage on this multi-author blog and have been covering sex this month. I have one more day to get this up before I head out to town, so if you get this and can graciously give me your okay to repost your writing and send my readers to this great blog, I'd be very excited and grateful!! You can email me at danielle@fancylittlethings.com.

Thanks!
Danielle

Thanks for adding to the conversation, Heather. I ...

2011-07-02T23:57:02.015-05:00

Thanks for adding to the conversation, Heather. I didn't know if anyone would jump into this one. That first game sounds pretty zesty. The second sounds sweet and intimate. It's all win-win!

I wish I had some original ideas, but we've re...

2011-07-01T20:54:50.574-05:00

I wish I had some original ideas, but we've recently bought a couple of card games specifically designed for this purpose. One is a poker game where you divide the deck in two and assemble your five bets poker hands. You and your spouse compare them one at a time - his best hand to your best hand. Whoever wins the most, gets to take a card and have that actions done/performed to/for them. I guess this could be adapted to use a standard deck and you could just make up your own actions on index cards.

The second game we got, involves a lot more dialogue. There are three categories to the cards - one is a question to develop intimacy, another is an action, and I can't remember the third. but you take turns with each of the three categories. I don't think there's a winner/loser in this game!

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the nooner!!! (followed closely ...

2011-06-28T08:04:23.322-05:00

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the nooner!!!

(followed closely by the "early morninger", "the middle of the nighter" "the long massager" and the "oral wake-uper")

(smirk)

This is great! Get feeling better!

2011-06-27T20:22:39.515-05:00

This is great! Get feeling better!

You know that was God-inspired! Even so, it must h...

2011-06-23T15:16:42.101-05:00

You know that was God-inspired! Even so, it must have taken some courage to pull out that bird at first. What a wonderful idea! Thanks for sharing.

Haha, Niki! That's a pretty good signal too.....

2011-06-20T21:49:12.102-05:00

Haha, Niki! That's a pretty good signal too... just might beat the Blue Bird! ;-)

Jennifer

That is a precious idea! Funny, we have that same ...

2011-06-20T21:43:41.068-05:00

That is a precious idea! Funny, we have that same glass bluebird... but our "signal" is me crawling into bed without my pj's. : )

What a creative idea! LOVE this post, and may have...

2011-06-20T10:13:23.817-05:00

What a creative idea! LOVE this post, and may have to implement something like it :)

That's awesome, Julie! It is pretty fun to ...

2011-06-20T10:02:42.123-05:00

That's awesome, Julie!

It is pretty fun to dosomething different and unexpected...

Blessings~
Jennifer

I love it! We did something similar, at the time ...

2011-06-20T09:17:10.211-05:00

I love it!

We did something similar, at the time I used Natural Family Planning where I had to chart (it is NOT the rhthym method). Anyway, white meant it was a day we could conceive. Green meant it was a day we would not conceive. When either of us said it was a green day, the other knew what we meant. Fun times...

What a great idea, subtle yet effective

2011-06-20T07:26:17.652-05:00

What a great idea, subtle yet effective

So funny, just today I'd told my hubby we need...

2011-06-13T18:28:01.441-05:00

So funny, just today I'd told my hubby we needed to 'plan more' in this area because we have a new baby that sleeps in our room and well, planning is key to keeping connected! Then I read your article, great thoughts, thank you!!

So much truth here - and not just with dates. Anti...

2011-06-06T10:34:31.131-05:00

So much truth here - and not just with dates. Anticipation is good, but too much plannning? Not so much ;)